When you come back it's harder to maintain that balance and that focus on each other and the life th

Those tales chronicle boaters enviable sun-soaked budget rent a cars for sale adventures in exotic locales, living a lifestyle many only dream about. budget rent a cars for sale But few ever confront what happens when the dream is over — when for financial, health or other reasons, cruisers must return to life on land.
For some, reentry into the world of work, bills, responsibility and a culture that suddenly feels alien can be disorienting and overwhelming in ways they d never expected. And the challenges are not only practical, but emotional.
Ken and Susan FitzGerald, who live aboard their 2003 Caliber 40 sailboat at Shilshole Bay Marina, both returned to their previous jobs when they returned to Seattle in August 2011 after two years of cruising the Pacific — she as a geologist, he as a project manager for a naval architecture firm.
It s extremely applied — whether the anchor stays on the bottom, whether the squall hits you before you reef — everything s 100 percent applied to how successful the day is going to be. But our lives now are so abstract in terms of the reward we get for the effort we put in.
Other cruisers might return home and look for work, only to find their work skills suddenly obsolete. When Wendy Hinman and her husband returned to Seattle after cruising for seven years, he immediately got work as a naval architect.
But Hinman, who had previously budget rent a cars for sale worked budget rent a cars for sale in Web design, discovered that technology had changed tremendously since they left in 2000. While they were gone, wireless Internet became commonplace, the era of blogging was born and Facebook was launched.
The couple returned to Seattle in October 2007 and Hinman struggled to find her way. For the first few weeks they anchored out in Eagle Harbor, off Bainbridge Island, until they could get a slip. They rowed ashore for showers and groceries. Accustomed to tropical weather, Hinman was constantly shivering and cold. The boat suddenly felt dark and claustrophobic.
Becoming increasingly depressed, Hinman hit a low point one day when she went to the local community center to use the bathroom while the marina facilities were being cleaned. While Hinman was at the sink, a woman came out of a bathroom stall and kept glancing at her. Then she asked Hinman if she was homeless.
When sailing budget rent a cars for sale on an ocean in a confined space becomes the norm, returning to life in a city — the sounds, the lights, the pace — can cause sensory overload. Susan FitzGerald, 45, recalls being taken aback at driving again for the first time after returning to Seattle.
Sirman said cruising changed his view of who he was as a American citizen, making him realize how fortunate he was. He became kinder and more helpful toward others, he says, and felt a new sense of interconnectedness.
The cruising society is a tight-knit and special community because they all depend on each other and they know that if they get into trouble, other cruisers are going to get together and help them, he said. So many times, people helped me.
It makes sense to be a helping person because you re going to need help somebody. That [perspective] grows on you and you get used to it, and after a while you want to be like that without thinking, what am I going to get back someday?
Arriving into port, Sirman said, fellow cruisers would often come over to say hello. Dinner invites were extended freely. By comparison, he finds landlubber culture insular and alienating. After five years of living in their house, Sirman said, he and his wife still don t know their neighbors.
I wouldn t know them if I passed by them in Costco or in the street, budget rent a cars for sale he said. In a harbor, people will pop by and say, Welcome, here s a couple of local bananas, and stop by the boat to have a cup of tea with us. Cruising people do that and shoreside people don t.
And while true friendships can survive time and distance, cruisers say it can be tough to return and discover that friends aren t all that interested in hearing about the life-altering experiences they ve had out on the ocean.
It s not personal, but it s sort of a readjustment for them to suddenly have you back in their lives when they ve sort of worked around that hole in their lives for a while, she said. They ve gotten to know new people while you were gone and they re doing their own thing. I felt kind of irrelevant sometimes.
Teresa Sicade cruised, 53, for four years with her husband on the Pacific Ocean, embarking on a dream they d planned for a decade. They sold their house before leaving and had no intentions of returning.
But then Sicade s father-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer, so the couple returned to the Northwest in 2010. Her father died of emphysema early the next year, followed by her father-in-law in 2012. Sicade s husband struggled to find work in the tech sector, and Sicade suffered depression and other symptoms related to menopause. It was a bleak time, she says.
If our parents hadn t needed us, we wouldn t have come back, she said. I don t want to be here. I love Seattle and I love our house here, but this isn t what I saw myself doing when we left. I loved our cruising life.
If it had just been my decision, I would still be out there sailing. It was gorgeous. It was wonderful. It was just the best time of my life in many, many ways, Sirman budget rent a cars for sale said. But I love my wife a lot and this is what she wants to do.
Heather Patrick and her husband cruised for six years, returning to Seattle in 2007 because her brother was diagnosed with brain cancer, her aging mother-in-law needed help and her husband was done with cruising.
Returning, Patrick said, upset the equilibrium the couple had found while cruising. The shared dream and vision they d had was gone, leaving a void. The togetherness they d experienced was replaced by competing demands on their time. And personality differences — she s highly social, he s more reserved — were suddenly exacerbated.
So much of who we were before we left was about cruising, said Patrick, 51. It was about planning the trip and getting the boat ready. There s so much energy that you both put towards that kind of big dream and that sort of defines your relationship budget rent a cars for sale before you leave, and then certainly while you re out there. Then you come back and you re no longer cruisers.
When you come back it’s harder to maintain that balance and that focus on each other and the life that just the two of shared.  I think you have to consciously redesign your life, and that takes a lot of consciousness and a lot of effort to have it become a life that you re both happy with.
Easing the difficulty of reentry requires intention and planning, cruisers budget rent a cars for sale say. For Hinman, author of the memoir Tightwads on the Loose: A Seven Year Pacific Odyssey, writing was her salvation. She reconnected with the boating community by writing race stories for a local boating budget rent a cars for sale publication and joined a writing group.
You need to redesign a life together based on the realities that are going to be there, and really understand what you re giving up, why you re doing it and what you re getting, so that there s a greater context for reentry, she said. “I think it’s also really important to try and find another dream, or at least interests, to share.”
You need to redesign a life together based on the realities that are going to be there, and really understand what you re giving up, why you re doing it and what you re getting, so that there s a greater context for reentry, she said. “I think it’s also really important to try and find another dream, or at least interests, to share.”
For Susan FitzGerald, returning budget rent a cars for sale to work was a given, which made reentry easier to take. Where she might have felt stuck in her life by inertia before she went cruising, she said, she s now content in the knowledge budget rent a cars for sale that she is where she chooses to be.
Deborah budget rent a cars for sale Bach is the co-founder of Three Sheets Northwest and the director of communications for the Northwest Marine Trade Association. She is a longtime professional budget rent a cars for sale journalist, avid sailor and travel junkie. You can find Deborah aboard her Passport 40, Meridian, with her husband, Marty, and their cat, Lily Winston Churchill.
I was very interested in your article, and I found it very thought provoking My husband and I are not cruisers, we don t even own a boat, so I m coming from a completely different perspective. What I *heard* in your article was consistent with the observations of people who retire without a plan. Not at all surprising.
Folks who go cruising, or make other significant changes put a lot of energy and thought in planning budget rent a cars for sale their departure from mainstream life. What struck budget rent a cars for sale me about the folks you featured in your article is that they didn t have their re-entry as well planned out as their checking out for many legitimate reasons. I imagine that if anyone decided to go cruising with the same level of preparation, it would be as much of a nightmare. we all like to live in the moment, but I see a life lesson in this article, beyond the context of sailing and cruising.
As for the reader who was offended, I am glad he spoke up. We all need to be heard. Its just that I can t help but wonder if some of his joy might be restored by getting away from his work for an afternoon and just GO SAILING. Call it a mental budget rent a cars for sale health break from the apparent drudgery of his work. (I love the slogan used by a local boat dealership: Life is pretty budget rent a cars for sale DRY without A BOAT! )
Such a well written and enlightening article, nicely passing along a good cross-section of real-life experiences! Having lived aboard for a number of years now, I appreciated budget rent a cars for sale hearing budget rent a cars for sale and learning from their candid stories! Thank you!!!
Thank you so much Deborah for this story. I ended up in therapy this year due to accumulated stress from being back in the U.S. after cruising for 4 1/2 years. It was a total culture shock to me when I came back. I missed the warmth of the locals I d meet in each country, learning about their culture, where in remote areas I d see children at play as they ran and laughed with just sticks and stones, dugout canoes, and butterflie