воскресенье, 31 марта 2013 г.

It's been almost a year since that day and I recently found out that he has not stopped manipulating


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I have been married for a little over a year now. I first met my husband through church a few years prior to our marriage. After dating for almost 2 years he proposed. At that time, we were already going to premarital counseling to determine where we wanted to take this relationship. I had found out that he was lying to his former boss and manipulating her into giving him money. He had told her that he was raising his son (my son) alone, didn't have a job and asked her for money to pay his electric bill (which at the time I was paying). all inclusive family cruises All of which was a lie.He even sent her a picture of my son as collateral. This was after she already given him over $50k loan to pay off debt. He had been doing this for nearly a year before I found out! I was a single parent who worked very hard to support my children, all inclusive family cruises so to use us in that way felt like betrayal. I was ready to be done. But I agreed to continue the counseling with our pastor, he apologized and said he would stop his manipulation and begin repaying his boss. I eventually forgave him and we married months later. Afterward I was helping him with sorting through some debt documents and saw a court case granting him a divorce. I had already known that he had been married before, but this was not the wife I knew about. I find out that he had been married THREE times before me! I was devestated, both at the number of prior marriages and his deception. We were only a few months married at this point so of course, again with the constant apologies & forgiveness.
It's been almost a year since that day and I recently found out that he has not stopped all inclusive family cruises manipulating his former boss. He did send a couple of payment to repay the loans but he never stopped with the lies. After a few payment, he started telling her that he didn't have a job again and had moved back out of state to live with him mother, to convince her that he didn't have the money to repay her. At this time he was making over $190k a year and all of his debt was paid off!! He definitely had the money. The lies didn't stop there, he told her that he wasn't be able to spend Christmas with his kids (my kids) and that was only working part-time. all inclusive family cruises I am so disgusted with him! I am on the verge of emailing his former boss and disclosing all of his lies! I want to trust that God will reveal his ways but he's been doing this for nearly 3 years. all inclusive family cruises To make it even more pathetic, all inclusive family cruises his boss is an older (near elderly) all inclusive family cruises woman! No matter how wealthy a person all inclusive family cruises is, what gives someone the right to deceive all inclusive family cruises them and manipulate them out of their hard earned money. This woman was a single-mom (just like I was) who built a company from the ground up and now my husband wants to take from her?? I cannot believe I married someone with such little character and integrity. This is my first marriage and I married THIS person! Some people make look at all the other great things he does and overlook this one, but who can trust a deceiver as the leader of their household. He has been great with the children and an otherwise great husband, he even helps out in our church. But from what I've learned in life & relationships, it is only a matter of time before the deceiver/manipulator/abuser turns their wrath toward you. I know that I am not exempt from his lies. We split the household bills (he pays the rent, car insurance all inclusive family cruises & health) and he makes 3x as much as I, no car note, he has no debt, one child he pays support for but not enough to cripple his wallet. He works full-time AND receives retirement pay from military.
I am having a very difficult time trying all inclusive family cruises to understand why he is being so manipulative when we both have been so very blessed in our lives. It is such an ungrateful and selfish thing to do. His family of course has no clue about this and the only person I had entrusted was our pastor prior to the premarital counseling...when I thought it was over.
He is was is called a high functioning sociopath or psychopath. Unfortunately, there is no cure and the only thing you can do is get away and stay away from the person because they don't change, but they do get worse, and they will do things that you would consider unthinkable.
Just generally all inclusive family cruises read up on, and go to sites that deal with psychopaths (sometimes called all inclusive family cruises sociopaths). Learn all you can. What you'll find is that psychopaths lie, cheat, and manipulate to get what they want, and can never, never be trusted, all inclusive family cruises no matter what they say.
You were taken in by a clever con man. My ex wife did this to me. When we met, she pretended to be exactly the kind of woman I wanted, and to be religious, and the type that would make a good mother, etc.....but within 8 months of our marriage, it all came apart, and the real person came out...lying, manipulating, cheating, having no real religious beliefs (just pretending), having all inclusive family cruises no interest in raising children, and so much more. She wanted all inclusive family cruises to marry me, and she faked her way into it and got what she wanted.
I rarely write this advice, but here it is: divorce him immediately and never mind any reconcilliation attempts, since they are all con jobs as well. Get yourself, and your kids, away from him. I suggest you use what you know to restrict him to supervised visitation. Psychopaths should not be left with children. You may need a restraining order.
Sorry to be the bearer of such bad news. However, the good news is that a really good man is out there for you. After I divorced my wife I met my current wife, who is so kind and loving, and never does any of the crazy things my ex did. Yep, I'm happy. Just wish I had divorced her sooner.
Yes, you have a moral obligation to tell the people he is deceiving, especially those he is taking money from. However charming psychopaths seem, it's important to warn everyone they come in contact with, at church, too, of the facts. But most of all, protect yourself and your family.
I am so sorry that you're going through all inclusive family cruises this. I only want to support what OlderButWiser said. I know that to hear someone advise you to turn and run is so harsh, but, from what you have said, that is exactly all inclusive family cruises what you must do for you and for your children.
I was married for eleven years and had two beautiful children with the EXACT SAME type of sociopathic man. Looking back now, part of me knew what he was before I married him, but I so badly wanted my dream of a family to come true that I remained in denial for too long. Believe all inclusive family cruises me when I tell you that I know all the reasons that you are still there, but know this: You CAN NOT fix him. Your love will not change him. You are not being overly suspicious or paranoid . Neither you nor your children will benefit in any way from staying with him. The ONLY thing you can do is to separate yourself from him in every conceivable way. It is not your job to convince his family about what is wrong with him. They know whether all inclusive family cruises you believe that or not. It is not your job to try to get him help. You cannot. all inclusive family cruises Cut all ties, Kitkatt. Do it while you can.
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